First, I would love everyone’s help in bring back the term “red magic.”  I feel that ketchup does nothing for me as a name.  But red magic… that says it all.  So let’s bring it back.  (I have a feeling it was never really used before.  Only in one really bad ad for Heinz ketchup.)  We need to change things.  We need to start using red magic on our french fries, hot dogs and burgers.  Not ketchup.  So say it with me people, “Please pass the red magic!”

I would like to lodge a complaint with my mother… Why did I never have toast like this?

french toast

I was lucky if it was uniformly browned or burnt.  I didn’t get any fancy designs in my toast.

salami bells

The quote under this one read “Party going casserole – with bells on!”

“what up Bro!  Where da’ casserole at?  You know it ain’t a party til Casserole is here!”

The bells refer to the rolled up salami with, and I quote (because I could not make this up) “parsley clappers.”

“Yo, Bill.  Don’t get to close to Casserole, he’s got the parsley clappers.  I think he got it from the whore Carla.  You know she was in Cabo last week…”

When did rolling up salami and sticking some parsely become haute couture for your casserole?  I seem to remember rolling up lunchmeats when I was a kid.  Maybe I was a savant?  A garnish savant…

If the Beaner Weiner was a hit,, why not try the Veinna Egg-Salad sammie.

weiner sandwich

Last time I checked, egg salad did not involve Vienna sausages.  I wonder how the men of Vienna feel about Vienna sausages being the smallest sausages around?  I mean, according to this photo the wieners fit width-wise accross a piece of french bread.  That’s not good.

And who doesn’t like a nice Tuna Salad…

tuna salad

and by Tuna salad I mean, just dump a can of flake tuna in the center of yet another jello mold filled with grass shaving and other things that even a rodent would eat.  If historians from 100/200 years from now, find these cooks books, I’m sure they’ll come to a couple of conclusions.

1 – there was a huge jello mold surplus in the 1960s.

2 – gelatin was the way to try and pass off bad food as “fun”

3 – the combo of wieners and pickles was unbeatable.